For the host(ess)

The Christmas season brings unique challenges for gift-givers, like buying for the teenager who is never satisfied and making conversation with the odd and distant relative who insists on coming to dinner this year. There is also the recurring issue of host(ess)* gifts, which are certainly not limited to the holiday season but seem to arise more frequently during this time.

*I will use the female form in this post, for simplicity's sake, but I readily acknowledge that men can and do make great hosts who deserve an equally special gift. If you are giving to a couple, choose a less feminine gift that both hosts will enjoy.

Hostess gifts show your appreciation for being invited to the event (and ensure that you will be at the top of the guest list next year). Although they are not required for every event you attend, a gift is always a nice way to say thank you. A good rule of thumb is to use the event's length and degree of formality to guide you in what to bring. Gifts are required for overnight visits and formal dinner parties and optional for cocktail parties and casual meals.

Remember, gift giving is not about you, and this applies doubly to hostess gifts. Feel free to bring a gift of food or drink, but don't expect that it will be served at the event. If your hostess chooses to do so, that is perfectly fine, but realize that the menu was set before your gift arrived and may not accommodate your nonetheless appreciated present. Your gift is first and foremost for the hostess, and once it is received she is free to do with it as she likes.

Here are some ideas to help you find the perfect gift for your hostess, regardless of the event you are attending:

• Food: desserts are always a hit, but breads or your specialty dish will also do the trick. Try to make the dish something that is easy to transport and fuss-free.
• Drink: wine, spirits, or a non-alcoholic beverage (like sweet tea or lemonade) is a nice treat for the hostess to enjoy later, or serve at the event if she chooses
• Restaurant gift certificate: say "thank you" for your hostess's hospitality by giving her a meal that she doesn't have to prepare
• Flowers: have them delivered if possible; if not, be sure to bring them in a vase so your hostess doesn't have to find a container while welcoming guests
• Ornament: an appropriate choice for holiday parties
• Token from home: if you are gifting to a person in a different geographic locale, think about bringing an item that represents your home area, such as a local delicacy or craft

Monogrammed tray from The Stationery Studio ($46); they also have Lucite versions for $98

Games are a great choice for frequent entertainers. I am a big fan of Would You Rather?, Electronic Catch Phrase, and Apples to Apples.

Custom House monogrammed coasters ($15.95 for 50)

State dish towels ($20) from Uncommon Goods, also available in city, region, and country styles

Mingle plates from Pottery Barn ($24 for 4)

Wine preserver from Brookstone ($29.95)

Monogrammed pillar candle ($24.99) from Simply Southern

Wine cork place card holders ($15 for 8) from Uncommon Goods

No matter what gift you choose, be sure to send a thank you note promptly after the event. I love this Lilly Pulitzer set ($60 for 25 cards) from The Stationery Studio.

What are some of your favorite hostess gifts to give or receive?